Greetings to everyone!
I want to start off by thanking every single one of you out there. We have been surrounded by a circle of friends and family who have really come through for us. Thanks to everyone who made a meal, or helped with the kids, or called to let me know they were thinking about me. It's great that I have spoken to more people that I have lost touch with than I can remember right now. I hope we can all continue our relationships. anyways, almost done with the chemo induction. I may be able to go home on Tuesday.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
1/24/09 to 1/29/09 sick from chemo, too tired to type
Chemo sucks, no other way to put it. I've been tired, nausous, ect,ect. Almost through, Saturday is the last infusion. The Doctor told me that I can brush my teeth and shave again.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
1/23/09, pm Bryan loses his filter, or The advantages and disadvantages of good narcotics.
There's this stuff called Dilaudid. Let me tell you about dilaudid. It's a pain killer, it's five times stronger than morphine, it works, and I like it. I don't know about anyone else, but it also causes me to lose my filter. You know that thing that keeps you from saying what you really want to say, or keeps you from saying the first thing that pops into your head. Some people call it a concsious, others portray it as a little angle sitting on your shoulder.
I came out of surgery fine, but a little sore. I slept some, and then talked to Erin for the rest of the morning. Right around noon, Doug and his son Mac show up to visit. Doug and his family have been friends with us for a long time. Erin started nannying for them when the youngest member of the family, Ian, was only 6 months old. He's now 15. Mack is now 17, and a senior in High School. Over the course of the conversation, I would say anything, regardless of how tacky or inappropriate it. I had everyone in the room cracking up. It was like I was 12 shots into a good bottle of scotch, with out being blunted in the slightest. I was throwing out double, triple, even quadruple entandre. I said things that should not be said in front of impressionable teenagers. I made comments about the social habits of teenagers now a days that fathers don't want to hear. overall, everyone had a good time. I wish I could describe it a little more accuratly, but now it's all a little hazy
I came out of surgery fine, but a little sore. I slept some, and then talked to Erin for the rest of the morning. Right around noon, Doug and his son Mac show up to visit. Doug and his family have been friends with us for a long time. Erin started nannying for them when the youngest member of the family, Ian, was only 6 months old. He's now 15. Mack is now 17, and a senior in High School. Over the course of the conversation, I would say anything, regardless of how tacky or inappropriate it. I had everyone in the room cracking up. It was like I was 12 shots into a good bottle of scotch, with out being blunted in the slightest. I was throwing out double, triple, even quadruple entandre. I said things that should not be said in front of impressionable teenagers. I made comments about the social habits of teenagers now a days that fathers don't want to hear. overall, everyone had a good time. I wish I could describe it a little more accuratly, but now it's all a little hazy
Saturday, January 24, 2009
1/23/09 AM Surgery day, or, this wasn't the sort of Port I was hoping to have installed one day.
For those of you old enough, do you remember what the 21st century was supposed to be like? We were promised flying cars, robots to clean up the house, jet packs, full meals in a pill, and end to world hunger, all other sorts neat stuff. Well nothing turned out like we were promised. One of the things I was really looking forward to was the posibility of having a data port installed, which would allow me to jack a computer directly into my brain and nervous system. You know what I mean, like from the matrix or any other SciFi movie. Unfortunatly, I did get a port installed today, but not the kind I hoped for.
What a night. I couldn't have anything to eat or drink after 9:00pm yesterday. Normally no big deal, unless you are coughing your lungs up all night and have a dry throat. And I was coughing my lungs up, or at least a lot of blood, phlegm, and what not. It's the what not that I was worried about. Also, When I woke up, my pillow case had this great rorschack bloodstain on it that looked kind of like a water buffalo, sort of. I wanted to keep it and use it later on, but they took it of when I was gone.
So, the nurse comes and wakes me up at 5:30 and starts to get me ready for my surgery. I am having something called a "Hickman catheter" (See Picture). At 7 the take me down to presurgery, I think, cause some things are still blury. Once they get me down there to the waiting room, I see an old co-worker walking by as they bring his dad in on a gurney. So I shout out "Hey CW, Hows it going man!" Then I realize how stupid of a comment that is. Here he is walking into a presurgical area with his dad on a bed, obviousley going in for some kind of procedure and some guy in a gown with a mask covering his face ( I have to wear one when ever I go out of my room) starts shouting at him. After a few seconds he finaly recognises me. we talk for a few minutes " Hey hows it going," " Oh, not to bad, my dads here for a heart procedure, How about you" " Oh, I'm alright, I found out I have Leukemia two days ago and they have to put some kind of port thingy in" yeah, kind of awkard, but more about that later.
Long story short, they put me under and install a catheter into my juggular vein. I wake up later, groggy and sore, and the only two good things about this are: 1. no more vein spikes for every little test of med dose, and 2. Pain killers
What a night. I couldn't have anything to eat or drink after 9:00pm yesterday. Normally no big deal, unless you are coughing your lungs up all night and have a dry throat. And I was coughing my lungs up, or at least a lot of blood, phlegm, and what not. It's the what not that I was worried about. Also, When I woke up, my pillow case had this great rorschack bloodstain on it that looked kind of like a water buffalo, sort of. I wanted to keep it and use it later on, but they took it of when I was gone.
So, the nurse comes and wakes me up at 5:30 and starts to get me ready for my surgery. I am having something called a "Hickman catheter" (See Picture). At 7 the take me down to presurgery, I think, cause some things are still blury. Once they get me down there to the waiting room, I see an old co-worker walking by as they bring his dad in on a gurney. So I shout out "Hey CW, Hows it going man!" Then I realize how stupid of a comment that is. Here he is walking into a presurgical area with his dad on a bed, obviousley going in for some kind of procedure and some guy in a gown with a mask covering his face ( I have to wear one when ever I go out of my room) starts shouting at him. After a few seconds he finaly recognises me. we talk for a few minutes " Hey hows it going," " Oh, not to bad, my dads here for a heart procedure, How about you" " Oh, I'm alright, I found out I have Leukemia two days ago and they have to put some kind of port thingy in" yeah, kind of awkard, but more about that later.
Long story short, they put me under and install a catheter into my juggular vein. I wake up later, groggy and sore, and the only two good things about this are: 1. no more vein spikes for every little test of med dose, and 2. Pain killers
1/22/09 Kind of a slow day, or I'm gonna have a lot of time on my hands
1/22/09,
well, not a lot happened today. I did talk to a lot of Doctors and got a rough idea of where we go from here. Tomorrow they are going to instal something called a Hickman Catheter. It goes into my chest so that I don't have to get stuck every time I have to get an injection of blood draw. I also wanted to comment on all the support Erin and I have gotten over the last few days. I have heard from so many people and everyone has been supportive. Scott B, Chris K, Don K, Julie F, Kyle, Chris P, Anthony and even my sisters Josh have called, and offered support and I want to say thank you very much. Email and Facebook has also allowed lots of people to give me some support. I do get the feeling that I am going to have enough time on my hands in the near future so that I can really get into the whole Facebook experience. I do feel kind of bad telling people that I haven't heard from in several years that I just got diagnosed with cancer. Oh well. I used the computer a lot today. Played a lot of Mahjong and solitare. Not much more news.
well, not a lot happened today. I did talk to a lot of Doctors and got a rough idea of where we go from here. Tomorrow they are going to instal something called a Hickman Catheter. It goes into my chest so that I don't have to get stuck every time I have to get an injection of blood draw. I also wanted to comment on all the support Erin and I have gotten over the last few days. I have heard from so many people and everyone has been supportive. Scott B, Chris K, Don K, Julie F, Kyle, Chris P, Anthony and even my sisters Josh have called, and offered support and I want to say thank you very much. Email and Facebook has also allowed lots of people to give me some support. I do get the feeling that I am going to have enough time on my hands in the near future so that I can really get into the whole Facebook experience. I do feel kind of bad telling people that I haven't heard from in several years that I just got diagnosed with cancer. Oh well. I used the computer a lot today. Played a lot of Mahjong and solitare. Not much more news.
Friday, January 23, 2009
1/21/09 PM Good News/Bad news, or, You've got to be fucking kidding me!
1/21/09 7:00 pm
Spoke with the Doctor tonight. He had the results back from the bone marrow biopsy, and they were not good. I have something called AP Leukemia. The AP stands for Acute Promyelycotic, not Advanced Placement like in highschool. I was informed that of the different types of leukemia, this was one of the better one's to have, not that any of them are "good" to have. I will get better, and I am not going to die from this, but I will have a long row to hoe. So, at least now I know.
Spoke with the Doctor tonight. He had the results back from the bone marrow biopsy, and they were not good. I have something called AP Leukemia. The AP stands for Acute Promyelycotic, not Advanced Placement like in highschool. I was informed that of the different types of leukemia, this was one of the better one's to have, not that any of them are "good" to have. I will get better, and I am not going to die from this, but I will have a long row to hoe. So, at least now I know.
1/21/09, AM. I am a leaf on the winds of fate, or, This is a pain unlike any I have ever felt.
1/21/09 am
I had the joy of being able to have a Bone Marrow biopsy this morning. As I was laying on my stomach with the Doctor on one side, and Erin on the other, I was reminded from a scene in the movie "Serenity", where one of the characters, named Wash, has to go through a very stressful situation. He used the following or something very like it as a mantra to keep him calm " I am a leaf on the winds of fate" I decided to give this a try, so as the Doctor got started, I started reciting this over and over again. It kind of worked. I didn't feel anything. This is kind of impressive, The needle that the Doctor used looked to be about the size of a pencil. It was hollow and came to a sharp point. There was a T handle on the other end. I found out later that this is so that he can get a good grip on it for when he has to punch through the bone. So, as I said I was really numbed up, and as the doctor slid the needle into my hip and didn't feel anything until the Doctor nudged up against the bone. I felt that. It was kind of like someone knocked on the inside of my pelvice. The Doctor then punched through the bone. Something popped, and reverberated through my pelvis then pain flashed. I got throuh the rest of the procedure by using my mantra. Luckly I also had Erin there. She helped talk me through it, and wiped the sweat off of my face when I broke out in a cold sweat. Now I just had to wait to find out what was going on inside of me. Incedently, as soon as the procedur was over I remembered what happened to Wash from serenity. After he was able to land his ship, he was impaled on a long sharp pole, Talk about Irony.
I had the joy of being able to have a Bone Marrow biopsy this morning. As I was laying on my stomach with the Doctor on one side, and Erin on the other, I was reminded from a scene in the movie "Serenity", where one of the characters, named Wash, has to go through a very stressful situation. He used the following or something very like it as a mantra to keep him calm " I am a leaf on the winds of fate" I decided to give this a try, so as the Doctor got started, I started reciting this over and over again. It kind of worked. I didn't feel anything. This is kind of impressive, The needle that the Doctor used looked to be about the size of a pencil. It was hollow and came to a sharp point. There was a T handle on the other end. I found out later that this is so that he can get a good grip on it for when he has to punch through the bone. So, as I said I was really numbed up, and as the doctor slid the needle into my hip and didn't feel anything until the Doctor nudged up against the bone. I felt that. It was kind of like someone knocked on the inside of my pelvice. The Doctor then punched through the bone. Something popped, and reverberated through my pelvis then pain flashed. I got throuh the rest of the procedure by using my mantra. Luckly I also had Erin there. She helped talk me through it, and wiped the sweat off of my face when I broke out in a cold sweat. Now I just had to wait to find out what was going on inside of me. Incedently, as soon as the procedur was over I remembered what happened to Wash from serenity. After he was able to land his ship, he was impaled on a long sharp pole, Talk about Irony.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
1/20/09 It's just a cold!, or one hell of an Inaugration day
Well, I started to get sick late last week. headache, stuffy nose, chest congestion, coughing, you know, just your run of the mill over the counter cold. Everyone else in the house was coming down with something over the last week. Both of the boys and Erin (My Wife) had some sort of stomach bug that was quite unpleasant. On Monday night, before bed, I noticed that there was blood in the phlegm I was coughing up and spitting out, and when I blew my nose, it was more red than green. Then I saw the black spots on my tongue. "That's weird" I thought, then chugged some nyquel to try and catch some Z's.
1/20/09. Woke up feeling like crap. Erin was already staying at home with Colin ( #2 son) who had thrown up at daycare yesterday. Told Erin that I was going to stay home and try to get in to see the Doctor. I called my Doctor's office, but would not be able to get in until 3:00. Erin left Colin with me while she took Ben ( #1 son) to preschool. She got back, I laid down for a while, then got up feeling even worse. Showed her the black spots which had grown in number and size, and were quite tender. I asked her what I should do, she replied "Go to immediate care, that looks terrible"
I got to immediate care and saw a nurse pretty quick. Then I saw a doctor who took a look inside of my mouth, then another doctor that took a look into my mouth, then another doctor who took a look into my mouth and then said he needed to call someone to consult with and then had to check a book in his office. Then they drew blood.
They got the results back from the blood pretty quick. All of my blood count stuff was low. Way low. My platelettes were 9000, when they were supposed to be over 150,000, my white blood cells were 9000 when they were supposed to be over 14,000. They called my family physician and consulted with him, and they decided that I needed to go to the hospital.
I called Erin and filled her in. She came and picked me up, right around 11:30. The Innaugration of the 44th president of the United States of America was in full swing and I was missing it.
We listened to the innaugration on NPR on the ride to the hospital, and got there just as Barak Obama was starting his speech. I wanted to sit and listen to it, but Erin said it was taping at hom and I would be able to watch it tonight. I was hoping that I would make it out soon. I had an Ice fishing trip with some friends set up for the weekend that I had been looking forward to for months. The Doctors at the hospital told me that I needed to stay in overnight for more tests. I started to get scared at this point.
1/20/09. Woke up feeling like crap. Erin was already staying at home with Colin ( #2 son) who had thrown up at daycare yesterday. Told Erin that I was going to stay home and try to get in to see the Doctor. I called my Doctor's office, but would not be able to get in until 3:00. Erin left Colin with me while she took Ben ( #1 son) to preschool. She got back, I laid down for a while, then got up feeling even worse. Showed her the black spots which had grown in number and size, and were quite tender. I asked her what I should do, she replied "Go to immediate care, that looks terrible"
I got to immediate care and saw a nurse pretty quick. Then I saw a doctor who took a look inside of my mouth, then another doctor that took a look into my mouth, then another doctor who took a look into my mouth and then said he needed to call someone to consult with and then had to check a book in his office. Then they drew blood.
They got the results back from the blood pretty quick. All of my blood count stuff was low. Way low. My platelettes were 9000, when they were supposed to be over 150,000, my white blood cells were 9000 when they were supposed to be over 14,000. They called my family physician and consulted with him, and they decided that I needed to go to the hospital.
I called Erin and filled her in. She came and picked me up, right around 11:30. The Innaugration of the 44th president of the United States of America was in full swing and I was missing it.
We listened to the innaugration on NPR on the ride to the hospital, and got there just as Barak Obama was starting his speech. I wanted to sit and listen to it, but Erin said it was taping at hom and I would be able to watch it tonight. I was hoping that I would make it out soon. I had an Ice fishing trip with some friends set up for the weekend that I had been looking forward to for months. The Doctors at the hospital told me that I needed to stay in overnight for more tests. I started to get scared at this point.
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